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"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
This is - elucidating. I have a job (the repatriation of Native American human remains and sacred objects) that specifically involves the confrontation of these issues on a daily basis, so this is a pretty useful list for me for understanding exactly what I rub up against when I get static about what I do. I.e., I don’t always fully understand the parameters of why I face resistance to repatriation, or policy changes, or, shit, even just my own fucking presence a lot of the time. I guess I’ve noticed that, if you’re not White, even your basic frame of reference can set White people off simply because it’s not their frame of reference. This is probably really naive and stupid of me after 40+ years of experiencing this, but - it’s still fucking bewildering every time it happens.
Every white person should read essays/research on white fragility. In order to start uprooting the roots of our racism, we need to be able to locate them and know how deep they go. Any time you feel uncomfortable when dealing with issues of race, that’s a sign you’ve found one, and an opportunity to unlearn whatever racist belief has been growing in you.
I was in a McDonald’s getting food. There was an older (Fifties, maybe early sixties) white man sitting at the table next to the only free table. I sat down near him.
Too late, I realized he was trying to get the attention of one of a group of young blacks - late teens, maybe high school seniors? Either way, they were teenagers.
The teenager came over, with a girl three steps behind him. I assume she was his girlfriend, and she was trying to pull him back.
This white guy, though, was yelling at him. I have no idea what the kid’s “offense” was, because the white guy never actually said why he was mad. And when I’d come in, the kids were chatting and minding their own business. The only thing I could see was that the kid had his pants down - you know that way some black kids wear them. He was decent, and while I personally find that fashion ugly…
This continued, with the girlfriend trying to keep the boy calm, and me sitting in the middle.
Then the white guy threatened to call the cops on the kid. Who, again, had done nothing.
I finally had enough.
I said “If you people don’t shut up, I will call the cops.”
White man: Thank you.
Me: On both of you. (Thinking back I should have left out ‘both of’ but I was pretty mad and just wanted to be left to eat in peace, and I could sense that this was in grave danger of going physical with me in the middle of it. I had my phone out, but I probably wouldn’t have called - they would probably have taken his side).
He exploded. He started screaming at me.
I told him his behavior constituted harassment.
He stormed out. (While he was yelling at me, the black kid made his exit).
The comment about “White solidarity” makes me think of this incident.
Because that guy could not handle the fact that I, a white woman, might call the cops on him, a white man, for causing a disturbance.
I was supposed to be:
1. On his side.
2. Nice and quiet and mouselike.
It was clear that what I said was a major threat to his view of the world.
women’s obsession over mlm relationships and being overly invested in the sexual dynamics of those people aren’t any less predatory than men who do the same thing to wlw
okay like i really, really get what you’re trying to say here. i understand. but like…. you’re wrong.
i can understand that as a mlm you experience a level of discomfort with women obsessing and hyperanalzying relationships between two men. i get it!
but wlw deal with not just homophobia – as mlm do – but misogyny. misogyny from not only cishet men but some mlm themselves!
the vast majority of wlw pornography is produced by and for straight men to fetishize us. the rate at which wlw are violently raped by men is astronomical, and our society has created a culture where men deliberately feel entitled to wlw because they feel as though we’re unavailable to them. the rates at which mlm face violence is very significant – but sexual violence from men aimed explicitly at bisexual, lesbian (and trans women, wlw or not) from men is just… horrendously high. it literally endangers our lives. i can name off a dozen wlw violently murdered and/or raped by men just for being unavailable to them in only the last decade off the top of my head.
when it comes to sexual violence i don’t think you can even imagine what being a wlw like. you can’t even imagine how many men have touched me against my will to try to prove a point. men covet us like a prize.
and sexual trauma most certainly happens to mlm from women sometimes, but not… nearly as frequently. the vast majority of mlm content being consumed by women (and mostly wlw) is like…. slash fanfic.
and i’m not trying to imply that can’t be painful and problematic – it can! and i’m not saying real life sexual trauma enacted by women on mlm can’t happen, because it does.
but it will never be the same. the structural power imbalance will never be the same. yaoi art drawn by women will never affect mlm the way the never-ending commodification and fetishization of lesbian & bisexual women (and again, trans women even more, whether wlw or not) in porn & in mainstream culture has impacted us. ever.
lesbian feminism deals with this directly and always has. lesbophobia is defined as an “intersection as homophobia and misogyny” at its core, and it’s… kind of callous to underestimate the pain of a long standing struggle that has accumulated in so much sexual violence against us we were forced to create terminology like “corrective rape” to describe it when you are not even a wlw yourself.
again, i’m not out here stanning for all the freak straight girls with yaoi paddles. i’m just saying that mlm – no matter how much i feel for their struggles – are still men, and it is never really appropriate to ever compare violence enacted against wlw to anything mlm experience because you aren’t women. they can be similar, but they’ll never be equal – ESPECIALLY when it comes to sexual violence.
violence against wlw rarely exists solely online. for us, it is an entire legacy of lived experiences from men who hate us not only for being women, but for being seemingly unavailable to them.
so honestly – by definition – the men fantasizing about wlw will almost always be more violent and predatory (and historically always have been) than the women fantasizing about mlm. not to sound like a libfem but like…. misogyny is a hell of a violent power structure
- Racial resentment drove supporters of President Donald Trump to vote for him in November more than any other factor, new research shows.
- Political researchers Sean McElwee and Jason McDaniel published a report in the Nation in March detailing their latest study on what motivated Trump voters to go to the polls.
- Their findings, which mirror similar reports showing racial bias among Trump supporters, illustrate an inherent fear or anger about perceived threats of increasing diversity, compelling many to vote for Trump. Read more (4/14/17 11:15 AM)
This guy (bryce) is using the media to find his father’s best friend, who’s on the left. His name is Kermit Powers. He’s from Spartanburg South Carolina.
Let’s help the reunion happen. Please, share.
They found each other!!
Inside Edition did an article and video on it:
So now they’re trying to find the last of their trio, Randall:
- Yucking someone else’s yum is poor form — but it’s become something of chef Gordon Ramsay’s brand. The celebrity chef recently roasted a polarizing, fruity pizza topping, but he hasn’t stopped there.
- On Thursday, Ramsay got himself into some hot water after a Twitter user named Rameez asked Ramsay to “please rate my medu vada sambar and nariyal chutney.” Read more. (4/11/2017 11:23 AM)
“ I think the kind of landscape that you grew up in, it lives with you. I don’t think it’s true of people who’ve grown up in cities so much; you may love a building, but I don’t think that you can love it in the way that you love a tree or a river or the colour of the earth; it’s a different kind of love. ”— Arundhati Roy (via soracities)
"Tell the chef, the beer is on me."
"Basically the price of a night on the town!"
"I'd love to help kickstart continued development! And 0 EUR/month really does make fiscal sense too... maybe I'll even get a shirt?" (there will be limited edition shirts for two and other goodies for each supporter as soon as we sold the 200)